Why You're Not Full of Yourself

Have you ever had someone say that you are “full of yourself”?

How do they know that you are “full of yourself”?

What has to be true for them to know this about you, especially if they have never met you before?

From a Constructed Development Theory perspective, what it signifies is that the other person is filtering your thinking and behaving through their own limited filters and are getting it wrong.

They might be good at reading people, but they lack the awareness to realise that external events reflect us to ourselves. Without self-awareness, self-reflection and humility, we make poor assessments of other people, and poor decisions based on those assessments.

If a person filters your construction of you (via Cognitive Intentions) through their construction of you, how can they possible be right?

With that in mind, if they are at a lower level of Dynamic Intelligence than you, then the balance you have in your thinking and constructing is out of their awareness. This is why their construction of you is wrong. You can see both sides to a Cognitive Intention pair (such as Internal/External) but they, for example, can only see Internal. Therefore any construction they have of you, lacks an External Intention that quite obviously misrepresents your Thinking Style.

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So it is very important to strive for balance in our Thinking Style, which ensures a high Dynamic Intelligence.

But more importantly, it ensures that the person doing the constructing isn’t limited by a singular Cognitive Intention, where you have the Intention, Awareness and Choice of both in your capacity to Respond in the moment. The image above helps illustrate this point.

This would ensure they do not think you are “full of yourself” as their construction of you would be on par with your own, and your “fullness” would be parallel to theirs.

It is only when their self-awareness is less-than-full that they misinterpret your construction of you, and assume the Cognitive Intentions they cannot see are somehow contributing to your ego, when in reality, they are detracting from their construction capacity.

The next time someone makes a value judgment based on what might be perceived as ego or personality, question the level of Dynamic Intelligence the person is operating from in order to gauge their true capacity to construct YOU!

You might then find your need for External validation diminishes too!